IC INBOX [ZODION]

[ectobiological]

INBOX SHIT GOES HERE

Comments

[drunkenfist]

hey u
yea
you
qtpie
do you got time to kill
because....
.....
.......
shit that was gonna go somewehre but i totally realized
that itd lead into a lame pickup line
which was kinda the point???
but also it was too lame for me
but yeah
you
txt back asap plz

[ectobiological]

hi roxy!!
i believe you were in the process of hitting on me in a really lame manner for some reason?

[drunkenfist]

omg dude the point was to be comPLETEly lame in every way
bcuz u cant take shit like this too srsly ok
anyway bro
whatre you doing this weekend
& dont say me no matter how badly u want to

[ectobiological]

omg roxy that is terrible!!
you are terrible and you should feel bad!!
but man i am not doing anything.
did you have any ideas?

[drunkenfist]

only terrible because its completely true
y/y/double y???
dont deny it im totally a desirable chick here

[ shh shh she's just talking herself up, she's not actually expecting anything other than giving john a hard time. ]

as for this weekend i had a few ideas
first how bout i teach u how to code 4 realz
not this cheaphy cheap fake codey stuff you seem to be struggling with
cool?
cool
and then maybe ill take u out to eat somewhere
girl like me gets bored doin nothing but hanging round and tending to the shop
i need a little excitement in my life

[ectobiological]

yes you are so correct.
you are so desirable i do not know how you keep all the admirers at bay, roxy.
in fact i think it is safe to say that i haven't stopped thinking about you since i saved you from the crazy fish girl!!
(ehehe)
but now i am not attracted to you wow.
what are you trying to say about my coding!!

[drunkenfist]

[ see, see? he's a lot more fun to flirt with than other guys because this is just dumb silliness and even if he's blunt, roxy can respect that. ]

im sayin that
w/ a lil help from the rockster
ur coding will be fucking ACES

[ectobiological]

i do not know what you are talking about.
my coding is already awesome!
especially my last post. jade did not even see it i am sure!

[drunkenfist]

well yea
but dont you want it to be
MEGA awesome?

[ectobiological]

how do i even know that you are for real.
i am the master of pranks you know.
you can't really fool me.

[drunkenfist]

wat
dude
ofc im real
im here talking 2 you arent i
well ok w/e texting but you get what i mean
im not trying to fool u im trying to help you :(
but if u really dont want help then thats cool
like legit cool im not just sayin it

[ectobiological]

[omg ROXY NO STOP]

fiiiiine i guess it would be kind of neat to bump heads with a fellow computer programmer.
oh!
i am kind of hungry too.
so maybe we could grab something to eat too?

[drunkenfist]

[ STOP WHAT B( ]

yea defs!!
itll be on me no prob
so u get to pick the place

[ectobiological]

oh sweet.
i don't really know what i want though.
maybe italian?

[drunkenfist]

sure we can do that
i think theres a palce in ummmmmmmmm
the fire district that has some good stuff
wnat me 2 swing by & pick u up?
or do u wanna meet me there

[ectobiological]

you are not going to pick me up?
or bring flowers?
wow you are a terrible date already roxy jeez.

[drunkenfist]

i knowwwww right???
but its only bc i dont have enoufh money for flowers
otherwise youd be swimmin in fuckin petals
so many petals bro youll be coughin em up the rest of the year
do u want that bro
bc if you
i can make it happen
i know a guy who knows a guy
who knows shit about flowers
hes like a master of fuckin flowers
ok tihs is so happening
you better wear the prettiest dress u got ok
do up ur hair
all nice and fancy liek
wear some pretty eyeshadow
pref pink or purple bc itll match the flowers
& then i will parade you around like the prize u are
make all the peeps jelly
STRAP ON UR BOOTS EBGBERT
shits getting real

[ectobiological]

wow you are like...
a girl dave except with less rapping.
but okay i will wear something i know will impress you.
you will be so impressed you will not have any socks because they will have been sooo blown off!
assuming that you are going to wear socks to begin with.
i will be waiting!!
oh, do you know where i live?

[drunkenfist]

[ dude she is so much better than dave, fuck that guy!! ]

that was
p much my next question
cant woo u if i dont know where you live
adn i will be sure to show up w/socks just for the sole purpose of u blowing them off

[ectobiological]

i live [insert area i need to ask Eric with the dumb boys live...]
don't get lost because i do not think i would be able to help you with that...

[drunkenfist]

john i am so completely & totes offended at the implications being tossed round here
as if i would get lost on the way to ur fine company
since ur so cute ill let it slide
but just this once ;)
ok i will see you in a bit!!

[ectobiological]

oh man i am going to blush this is insane.
should i just like spam your inbox until you get here?
i did want to test out the camera feature on this thing.

[drunkenfist]

[ yes blush john. blush!!! ]

my inbox is there & open year round for ur spammin pleasure
so plz
spam the fuck away

[ectobiological]

[And then John takes a series of selfies that he promptly instagrams and sends to her.]

[drunkenfist]

[ oH mY GOD JOHN... ]

ok srsly
y r u so sweet & cute
its like you ate all the cake in the world

[ectobiological]

bluuuuuh!!!!!!!!
bluh roxy bluh!!!!

[drunkenfist]

omg
wat kinda heathen doesnt like cake
unless its betty crocker cake bc
tbh
fuck that witch

[ectobiological]

a heathen who has had a year's worth of cake.
a whole year.
but oh man.
you don't like betty crocker either?

[drunkenfist]

o yea thatd make cake p old........

nope
not @ all
she kinda u know
destroyed the earth
like the bluh blu hhuge witch she is

[ectobiological]

i knew she was up to no good.
man that has to suck.
how did she destroy it?
did she put in mind control ingredients into her packaged goods?

[drunkenfist]

no it was
a lot worse
than that...

[ectobiological]

how much worse?
do i even want to know?

1/2

[drunkenfist]

[ there is a loooooong stretch of radio silence from roxy's end, staying quiet as she takes a moment to just.

push it out of her mind. ]

[drunkenfist]

way to bring down the convo bro!!
i should b ther soon
make sure ur lookin hot ;)

[ectobiological]

pfffft whaaaatever.
i am always hot.

( CHRISTMAS EVE MORNING. )

[drunkenfist]

[ forward-dated because shut up. shut up is why!

so basically in front of john's door there's a medium sized package with an adorable floppy pink bunny and a pale blue down pillow. the down's not just any feathers, though. if john looks closely when one of the feathers peeks out from under the material he'll notice

it's bright orange.

yep.

they're davesprite's feathers from when he was here last and molted from stress. don't ask why roxy had them just laying around. ]

( text )

[holycake]

Dear (insert name),

You've been invited, by Stocking Anarchy, to attend the premier of

PANTY ANARCHY'S PORN TAPE! HOT THROAT LOOPY ROLL!!!!

The cost is 86 stellas. A buffet of different foods will be provided. The viewing will be held at the theater on January 5, 2013, at 3:00pm. Please attend and enjoy!

-Stocking Anarchy

4/13, 12:01

[drunkenfist]

hey john
i know were like in the middle of a hella sucky invasion and shit
but i just wanrted 2 drop u a line & wish u a happy bday
dw well do some real celebratin when this is all over
bcuz theres no way this is gonna last long
promise
but for now happy 15th
lets make it awesome ;3

[ if john replies, roxy won't because she's busy doing her robin hood thing... but feel free to spam her if you so wish. ]

[ectobiological]

hehe thanks!
it feels a little weird because i kind of just had a birthday?
but whatever.
so what have you been doing lately?

half an hour later...

[ectobiological]

uh...roxy???

an hour later.

[ectobiological]

roxy is a newb and totally sucks at throwing snowballs.